Monday, November 22, 2010

Dear Nate

Dear Nate,

First of all, you. crack. me. up. The nine voicemail messages you left me are beyond unbelievably hysterical.  If I weren’t such a hoarder of neatness I would have saved them all in my mailbox to share with other friends.  My favorite message of course was the one where you were begging me to forgive you.  I knew it was in the purest form of sincerity that you delivered your message. ;)  My second favorite message was the one that you said “New number. Same annoying Nate.”

Nate the Great, you are a classic one-of-a-kind friend. 

And just because I don’t want to give you a boring response.  Just because I know that for our friendship, it would be much more fulfilling to you if I do something different, something surprising and unexpected.  I am replying to your messages on my blog rather than calling you back.

And the rest of the people – few as they are – that are reading my blog…. well, they have to endure the fact that they have no idea what this is about.  An inside joke per se. They have no idea really….that it’s about….. well…. er…. nothing.

Monday, November 08, 2010

google addict

I am a junkie for google.  Wait.  Maybe I should rephrase that statement.

Hi. My name is Tina. I’m a google addict.

Want me to prove it?  I’ll try.

I couldn’t think of anything to write on my blog (because I’m boring lately).  So, I googled “something to blog about”.  The first hit was a book called…duh… “something to blog about”. It wasn’t what I was looking for so I googled “blog topic ideas”.  And then I told myself “uh…Tina…you just googled your thoughts… are you a google addict?” 

Then, I googled “google addict”.  Wait. Don’t stop reading. It’s worse than you think. 

The first hit to that is this link.  Yep. 63 signs you’re addicted to google.  To my relief, I only have 11 of those 63 signs.

The second hit was a quiz.  So, I took it.  It says "According to our experts, you are 75% addicted to google”.

After those hits, there were various sites I visited that were blogs about google addicts.  I found myself asking these questions:

1. What did I DO before google?

2. What WOULD I DO without google?

I wouldn’t know what holiday it is without the google holiday font.  I wouldn’t know how many people there are in my state with my name…or my husbands name…or my daughters name… or my sisters name… or my neighbors name…ahem!  Okay. I don’t do that very often. (don’t judge me like you haven’t ever done it!)

I wouldn’t know what a spelunker is.  I wouldn’t know that kieour is not a word (I only do this when I’m stressed out…. randomly throw letter on the keyboard at google).  I would actually have to memorize the Napoleon Dynamite and Dwight Schrute quotes.  I would have to use a (egads!) road map.  I wouldn’t know the answer to random questions like “why are my cats teeth falling out” (true story).

I am a child of the 80’s.  We didn’t have google back then.  We were addicted to things like records.  And MTV (when they actually had videos on MTV). 

We had to use dictionaries. I don’t think my kids even know what those are.  They are used to “did you mean …….?”.

Yes, folks, you heard it here.  My life as a google addict is dull as dishwater. It’s sad. But true. Fess up.  you know you’re one too.

Friday, November 05, 2010

I was going to but now I’m not.

I thought about proclaiming myself the worst blogger ever and making a trophy out of all the junk on my desk.  But, then, I read another blog today.  It was their only update since June.  So, I lost the contest (hey! it was a contest to me even if it was created in my mind).

Why haven’t I blogged lately? 

Duh.  I started my own business. Remember? 

I don’t know what I was thinking.  I thought that starting your own business and working from home would be super fun.  I didn’t realize I was going to have to actually WORK.  I thought people who did this sort of thing just got to sit on facebook and play fantasy football all day and get a cute home office and new computer…. and special order “inbox” and all the office supplies you could ever dream of. 

But reality is not that. Reality is slight disorganization (okay, gross exaggeration with the word slight there) partnered with no free time. at. all.

So, instead of crafting my worst blogger trophy this morning, I have a different list.  It’s a little more vague than the detailed lists I’ve made in the past.  It starts with 1)Get your stinkin work done.  and then 2)clean your disgusting house you lazy bum. and finally 3)would you for once cook supper for your family, I think they’re sick of frozen dinners!

If you are reading this, and you have time…. would you make me a trophy?