Friday, September 30, 2005

imaginary friends

Shawn picked Em up at school and had to go to the other school to get Abb. While they were waiting, Emily said "There's Jennifer's sister."
"Where?"
"Over there by the tree."
"I don't see anyone by the tree"
"Daaaad!"
"What?"
"Duh... Dad... you know, Jennifer"
"I don't see anyone by the tree."
"Dad... Jennifer Carson..."
"Who?"
"My imaginary friend, Jennifer Carson"

He finally understood. Jennifer's sister would not be real because Jennifer is not real. She is imaginary. Her entire family is imaginary.

This morning, I said "Em, so... how many people are actually in Jennifer's family?"
"Lots"
hm..... interesting character. I started to worry a bit.
"Emily.... do you actually see Jennifer?"
"Yeah, I'm the only one though... unless I snap my finger a special way, then other people can see her."

I saw the movie A Beautiful Mind. I wonder.... when does that all start?

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Closet Blogger

This post is in honor of my husband, the Closet Blogger.
For the man in my life, who never posts, unless anonymously.
But, always faithfully reads my daily blog.
For the man in my life, who knows what is going on in my blogging friends lives...
But, would never admit he reads their blog.
For the man in my life who knows all about Michael Yon.... via his blog.
For the man in my life who I caught visiting Angry Beaver websites
After I blogged about Angry Beavers.
For the man I love dearly.
You're so fun to be with!
Thanks for being so awesome.
(Although truthfully you don't know what you're missing by not adding your posts! It's so fun!)
And by the way, thanks for coming in early for me this morning, and letting me sleep in a little longer.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Angry Beavers

Thought I'd blog about Shawn's favorite cartoon. The Angry Beavers. It's not on anymore.The show was about two beaver brothers trying to make it on their own. Apparently their mom had a new litter and they got booted. Norbert is the calm, collected one with the brains, a rather large ego, and a desire to be accepted by Barry (“Mr. Cool”). Daggett is the nervous one who doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. Total opposites. That’s what makes the show so funny. Some of the things they get into are absolutely hilarious. The writers are great, and the animaters are awesome.

Some episodes are really gross and some are down totally stupid. Maybe that's why Shawn likes it so much.

What in the name of Aunt Eileen's cabbageless coleslaw is going on? Why did Nickelodeon cancel this show? I decided to try to find out. I googled it : "Why did Nickelodeon cancel Angry Beavers". Get straight to the point. No need to beat around the bush with Google.

It seems, after much research... that Angry Beavers was cancelled amid some controversy. hmmm... very interesting.

The controversy started in 1998, just one year after the show started in 1997 with some verbage Nick didn't like. The show ended in 2001 --- apparently the last show was supposed to be "Bye Bye Beavers" which told kids that the beavers were going off the air. But, Nick doesn't like to end shows that way... they prefer to run reruns for years and years and pretend more shows are being written.

If you are like Shawn and you like the Angry Beavers. You can sign the petition started to Bring Back the Angry Beavers.

By the way... still moving! Thought I'd get that in there too!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

furniture

I wonder how many times I will write that we are still moving. ? Seriously, nobody should have this much stuff.
The good thing is... gramma marge is still providing meals. We're actually thinking we might tell her we're still moving even when we're done. Just for the food.
Tonight is tacos/burritos from a bar here in town. We're not really bar supporters, just good burrito supporters.
I spent a teensy weensy bit of time on the internet today shopping for furniture. Furniture shopping is so fun. More so when you get to BUY it and not just LOOK at it. But, I found the cutest sectional from storehouse. They have the best stuff! It's a little out of my pricerange though. But, I'm going to send a photo of it to my friend at Simpsons to see if she can copy it in a cheaper version. :) I love the color mostly. I could probably get any old thing in that color and love it. It would look awesome with my black lectern recliners.


Emily is having fun with the move. She said "I like the new house, cuz I get to share a room with Abbie, but sometimes Abbie is mean to me and it's kind of crowded in here so I will like the new new house too, but I really just want my new bed". She got a new bed. It's a trundle bed. She calls it a "bed bed". Cuz it's a bed with a bed.
Why is the time always wrong on the bottom of my thing when I post? Right now it says 2:50pm and it's really 5:02pm. I always have to change it.

Monday, September 26, 2005

steak, mcdonalds, goulash

Thank God for my mother in law. She is so nice.
For the past few days, she's been providing our meals while we work and move.
Tonight it's goulash. and very good I might add.

Shawn went to a contractors steak night. hm... what a trade off.

It's so funny though. Cuz normally at mom's, Monday night is McDonalds night. Shawn's bro Shelly is so cute. He has to have McDonalds every Monday night. And he has it down to a science. His favorite show starts at 8. So, he writes a list... same list every week, 2 fish sandwiches no cheese extra tarter sauce, large fries, orange pop. Even McDonald's workers know Shellys order. But, he still writes the list. And he brings it upstairs at exactly 7:30. If you are in a hurry or want to go early, or try to do it sooner, he gets mad. And believe me you don't want to make shelly mad. You can't leave until 7:30. Not a minute before.

Tonight I'm on McDonalds Duty. So, better go!

moving

I haven't updated in two days! That is bad! bad bad bad!

We moved our bedroom stuff and our bathroom stuff and our kitchen stuff. So, we can eat and sleep and "do bathroom things" at one house(#2). The rest of the stuff, computer included, is at the other house(#1). So, right now I'm at the house #1. We took the day off to move more stuff. me and shawn. what a lonely couple of movers. We keep getting interrupted by urgent work calls on our cell phones. He takes one call, I make one call, next thing you know it's an hour and a half later. He's still on the phone now, and I had to check email. So, I snuck onto my blog to update.

It's wierd moving this time. We don't have the new house built so we're moving into something SMALLER, and it doesn't have all the conveniences of this home. Like... ROOMS. jk. We really like this place. But, it's going to be good for us to be closer together for a while.

We moved a bunch of stuff in the enclosed trailer over the weekend. That trailer holds a lot of boxes. Today we are moving some bigger stuff so we have somewhere to sit at the new house. The sofa and 2 chairs is about all we can fit in that thing. crazy.

Where did we get all this stuff?

Friday, September 23, 2005

that SMELL

Ever smell those "smells" in your kitchen and wonder where they are coming from?
We came home from v-ball yesterday. I walked in the house and smelled it. I thought "what is that smell?". Then, one by one, each member of my family followed me in the house and I listened as they all repeated the same question: "What IS that smell?".

"It's coming from the bathroom"... "No, I think it's the laudry room." ... "Is the garbage from the garage coming in after us?".... "When was the last time you cleaned out the fridge?".... "It's definately inSIDE the house"...

Everyone sniffed around for a while, Shawn sprayed some stuff in the garbage. The garbage was only 1/10 full, so we couldn't take it out yet. We would waste a whole bag.

We each got busy, did our own thing.... and the smell didn't bother us so much.

We went to bed, got up the next morning,... it was back. that SMELL. This time nobody commented. Were we getting used to it?

I finally did something radical. I threw out the trash 1/10 full.

The smell is gone.

packing smacking

My hands, my shirt, my pants, all covered in newspaper ink.
Why does that stuff come off?
Why didn't I get packing peanuts instead?
Why am I moving?
Why do I have so much CRAP?
Why - oh why - oh why?

no sleep happens... only work... and pack.... and work... and pack... and jr. high volleyball... and work... and pack... and pack... and work.... and dig... and clutter... and toss... and pack.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

busy

It's one of those busy oh my gosh what else can i try to fit into one day and get done why am i so insane days!

But, thought I'd at least update! That way everyone doesn't think I dropped off the face of the earth.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

word power

When I was in high school, a friend of mine and I were addicted to words. We did the whole word-a-day calendars all the time, and challenged each other to use the words each day. It was so lame, but strangely fun. But, I lived in Missouri at the time and there wasn't much else to do...

So, last year, I wanted a word-a-day calendar just to see if I could get my teens into it. uh, it didn't work. They rarely glance at it.

Okay, so here's today's word. I like to read the word, then guess what it means, use it in a sentence or two... and then see how close I am.

backronym -

It could be a reversed opposite. It could be a backwords acronym. It could be a location. A form of study."A Nutty Intelligent Teacher is the backronym for my name."(I actually think that's an acronym but it's worth a try) --- Teacher: "Do you know the new student Jonny?" Student: "Sure, I sit in backronym." "The opposite of black is white, and the backronym for black is black." "Tina uses backronyms to study INSTE" -- Right Bliggity? hehe...

Okay... here is the real meaning... noun... a word re-interpreted as an acronym.

Hey! I didn't do too bad! I had the acronym part mentioned once or twice. And hey-the description is the best part.

"In a backronym, an expansion is invented to treat an existing word as an acronym. An example is the PERL programming language whose name is now explained as an acronym of Practical Extraction and Report Language.
When naming, sometimes a suitable name is chosen and then an acronym is retrofitted on top of it: USA PATRIOT Act (Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism). The clunkiness of the expansion is a quick giveaway. How about forming a backronym for ACRONYM itself: A Contrived Result Of Nomenclature Yielding Mechanism?"

I hope Bliggity reads this post!!! AND Liese!! And Shawn!!! Just so you guys know: PADS is a bacronym!! It really is an intelligent and purposeful way to learn! wow! I invented this! And I didn't even know it until now!

For you non-INSTE's - PADS are the four purposes for Christ's death: Punish Sin, Act in Obedience to God, Destroy the power of Death, and Suffering vicariously by Christ.

It's a backronym. I knew it all along.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Chapter 3 - Boundary Problems

Okay, before you sigh and wonder how many chapters there are in this book, I'll just tell you.
There are 16.
I'll try not to bore you over the next 2.5 weeks!

But, it's just too good not to share.
I think this is a book everyone should read!

In chapter 3, the authors talk about boundary problems. They point out that boundary conflicts
are in no way limited to those who "can't say no". It is also related to what you HEAR.

Here is a chart:

CAN'T SAY NO - The Compliant - feels guilty and/or controlled by others; can't set boundaries
CAN'T HEAR NO - The Controller - aggressively or manipulatively violates boundaries of others
CAN'T SAY YES - The Non-Responsive - sets boundaries against responsibility to love
CAN'T HEAR YES - The Avoidant - sets boundaries against recieving care of others

The author points out that you can be any combination of the above. IE a Compliant Controller, A Non-Responsive Avoidant, A Compliant Avoidant, A Non-Responsive Controller... or you can just be one or the other.

Compliants: say yes to the "bad" in life. Compliants have fuzzy and indistinct boundaries; they "melt" into the demands and needs of other people. They can't stand alone, distinct from people who want something from them. They pretend to like the same restaurants and movies their friends do "just to get along". They are chameleons. After a while, it's hard to distinguish them from their environment. They are unable to say no for various reasons: fear of hurting other person's feelings, fear of abandonment, wish to be totally dependent on another, fear of someone else's anger, fear of punishment, fear of being shamed, fear of being seen as bad or selfish, fear of being unspiritual, fear of one's overstrict and critical conscience.

Avoidants: say no to the "good" in life. They are unable to ask for help, to recognize their own needs, to let others in. Avoidants withdraw when they are in need; they do not ask for the support of others. The authors point out that boundaries are supposed to be able to "breathe" like fences with a gate that can let the good in and the bad out. People with "WALLS" for boundaries can let in neither the bad nor the good. Therefore, avoidants are stuck in a cycle of feeling drained, with nothing to replace the lost energy. These people have no boundaries where they need them, and boundaries where they shouldn't.

Controllers: Not respecting others' boundaries. Controllers don't respect limits. They resist taking responsibility for their own lives, so they need to control others. Controllers are percieved as bullies, manipulative and agressive. The author divides controllers into two groups; agressive controllers and manipulative controllers. Agressive Controllers are people who don't listen. They run over other people's boundaries like a tank. They are sometimes verbally abusive, sometimes physically. They live in a world of yes, and there is no place for someone else's no. Manipulative Controllers are less honest than agressive controllers. They use persuasion and talk others into saying yes. They indirectly manipulate circumstances to get their way. They use guilt messages. They usually deny their desire to control others; and brush aside their self-centeredness. The author is quick to point out that compliants and avoidants can also be controllers.

Nonresponsives: Not hearing the needs of others. This person neglect responsibilities to connect with people, and to love. We are responsible to care about and help (within certain limits) others whom God has placed in our lives. To refuse to do so when we have the appropriate resources can be a boundary conflict. Nonresponsives fall into two groups also: 1. Those with a critical spirit toward the needs of others. They hate being incomplete in themselves, so as a result, they ignore the needs of others. and 2. Those who are so absorbed in their own desires and needs they exclude others (a form of narcissism).
Phil. 2:4 says "Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others".

Nonresponsives and be controlling also. Controlling nonresponsives have a hard time looking past themselves. They see others as responsible for their struggles and are always needing someone to take care of them. They gravitate toward someone with blurry boundaries, who will naturally take on too many responsibilities in the relationship and won't complain about it.

It's all very interesting.

A final boundary problem involves distinguishing between "relational" and "functional".
"Functional" boundaries refer to a person's ability to complete a task, project, or job. It has to do with performance, discipline, initiative, and planning. "Relational" boundaries refer to the ability to speak truth to others with whom we are in relationship.
Basically, functional boundaries relate to the "Martha" in us. Relational boundaries refer to our "Mary" parts. (Luke 10:38-42). Jesus didn't mean that Martha's busyness was bad; it was just the wrong thing at the wrong time. Many people have good functional boundaries, but poor relational ones; they can perform tasks at quite high levels of competence, but they may not be able to tell a friend they don't like their chronic lateness.
The reverse can also be true. Some people can be completely honest with others about their complaints and dislikes, but be unable to get up for work in the morning!

Okay, you should have just read the book, since I practically wrote it again above.
I find a lot of things I can relate to in it. I see myself in a LOT of ways.... I think I have okay functional boundaries, but I DEFINATELY have issues with my relational boundaries.
I am still trying to decide for sure which "category" I fit in.

What are you?

coffee

I think coffee has got to be one of my absolute favorite things.
When I filled out a survey the other day, they asked what your hobbies were.
I wrote coffee.
When did coffee become a hobby?
It used to be known as a beverage.
Now... a hobby.
You can only understand coffee as a hobby, if it is one of your hobbies.
Those of you who have a coffee-hobby completely understand me.
Those of you that don't, still see it as only a beverage, and don't understand what I am even saying.
Funny thing is. I used to hate coffee.
I remember one time, when I could not stand coffee.
I agreed with Shawn, it tasted like an ashtray.
I decided to try it. Just to stay awake when I was working the third shift.
It was hard to drink.
I drank it way watered down. More like tea.
Once when i was just starting Shawn's aunt Karen made a pot of coffee, when I was at Gramma J's house.
It was soooooo black, I had to secretly dump it out.
Now I sometimes wonder if people dump out mine for that same reason.
How do I like it?
Well, I'd take it anyway, as long as it's strong.
But, I really really like it with a shot of caramel and half and half.
Truthfully, any old way is perfect.
lattes, cappacinos, coffee with creamer, frappacinos, ...

I use coffee as my alarm clock sometimes.
That is the best way to wake up.
Set the timer on the coffeemaker.
Then, as you smell that brew in the morning, it wakes you up and carries you to the kitchen.

I wonder if I should have an entire blog about cofffee.
I wanted to start a ministry once, centered around coffee and study.
I haven't given up on that dream.
My ultimate all time dream would be to own a coffee shop.

Coffee is almost like a secret society hobby.
You only know how good it is if you are in the "club".
If you are on the outside, you will never know what you are missing.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Boundaries - talents

It was especially difficult for me to sing in church yesterday. I can blog about it now, only because it's over. :) I was sweating bullets. I recognized last week that it was going to be pure agony for me to do it. I was so mad at myself for letting the devil have that foothold in my life. But, nonetheless, I was seeking for any excuse or reason to get out of doing it.

The bottom line, however, is that I knew I had to do it. It was bad enough that I allowed satan to get at me, but then to allow him to have victory: that would not happen.

In the Boundaries book, the author talks about our talents, comparing two responses:
"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"

"You wiked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have recieved it back with interest. Take the talent from him and give it to the other one who has ten talents." - Matt 25:23, 26-28

These verses, better than any, illustrate God-ordained responsiblity for ownership and use of our talents. The author points out that our talents are clearly within our boundaries and are our responsibility. Yet, taking that ownership is scary... and risky. It takes work, practice, learning, prayer, resources, and grace to overcome FEAR of FAILURE that the "wicked and lazy" servant gave in to. He was not chastised for his fear. He was chastised for giving in to his fear, and trying his best.

The author desribes it awesomely! "Not confronting our fear denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gift and his grace to sustain us as we are learning".

Wow! You might want to read that again and again, slower and slower to let it sink it. It is so true... and so evident in my life this past week. But, I literally talked to God and said, "Okay God, I'll do it. I'm scared to death, but I'll practice hard and I'll do it. But, your part is this: don't let me make a fool of myself."

I was nervous, scared, knees shaking, voice quaking, frightened. But, I did it. And God helped me. I didn't look like a fool. It wasn't perfect, absolutely not. But, I am still growing in that, and God has enough grace to sustain me as I learn and grow.

Boundaries

Boundaries Book Update: I am on page 45. That's not very good. But it IS chapter 2! It's good reading. I just use all my time to read other more "pressing" books.
Here is the jist so far:
Chapter 1: A day in a Boundaryless life - the author describes the life of Sherrie, a working mother of two, who has the best intentions but seems to be sidetracked quite often by other peoples needs and requests. She doesn't ever say no and has a hard time taking control of her own time... always trying to help other people fix their "problems" in the name of "sacrifice". At work, she is taken advantage of, a large work load dumped on her because she is capable and willing. At home, she feels guilty because she doesn't spend enough time with her family, her children are acting out and she doesn't discipline well. She works from 6am - midnight, just trying to keep up. She tries to live her life the right way, but she feels isolated, helpless, confused, and guilty most of the time. She isn't lazy, and trying harder isn't working. She's a people-pleaser, which doesn't bring her the intimacy she needs. She struggles with knowing which things ARE her responsibility, and which things AREN'T. She takes on things she shouldn't: her mothers chronic lonliness, her boss's irresponsibility, her friends unending crises, her church leaders guilt ridden message of self-sacrifice, and her husbands immaturity.

Chapter 2: What Does a Boundary Look Like? - The author goes into great detail describing what a boundary is: invisible propery lines and responsibility. In the physical world, boundaries are fences, signs, walks, gates, moats, lawns, hedges. They give out the same message: this is where my property begins. In the spiritual world, boundaries are just as real, but harder to see. Proverbs 4:23 says "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.." We are to maintain our heart. The author says that if we were told to "guard a property with all diligence for I will hold you responsible for what happens here" and didn't know where the boundaries were, that would be confusing, frightening, and dangerous. We are told to guard our hearts and our own parameters, but often our family, past relationships, or bondages, confuse us as to what our parameters are. There is much emphasis that we are responsible TO others, and FOR ourselves.

Some examples of boundaries are skin, words, truth, geographical distance, emotional distance, other people, consequences, ...

Things we are responsible for are our feelings, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, choices, values, limits, talents, thoughts, desires, and love. We are responsible for our OWN of those, not others.

Hm... it's getting interesting.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

moving

We are moving.
It's quite a challenge for us, to say the least.
The worst part is, we have to do it twice.

In the meantime, we have to move all our stuff to a house half the size we have now. I see it as a great "opportunity" to say the least.

However, Shawn is scared.

Somehow some of his stuff never makes it when we move... gosh, I wonder how that happens?

It's not the tools I mind, or the books, or the hobbies. Those are usually organized and untouched, thus easy to pack. It's the piles and piles of cardboard squares, the empty tin cans, the architural digest magazines from 1982, the moldy books, the pieces of wire, the broken electonics, the 790 million empty 5 gallon buckets, and the stockpile of writing pads (that nobody can touch). Those are the wierd items that typically test our marriage, and my "fruit of the spirit".
He keeps wierd things. But, I love him anyway. I lose things. He loves me. That's a good thing.

Of course, depending on who I have packing with me, I might have a battle of my own waging... the last time we moved, I "didn't need" two complete sets of dishes, a complete set of silverware, and many many many other items as well.

I'm wondering... maybe we should each pack our own stuff... it could be a world war.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8
1 twist 3-4 step step side side

That's what you do when you have teenagers.
practice dance routines all night long.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

crawdaddy outdoors

Just discovered there is going to be a new store in town called "Crawdaddy Outdoors". Next to Jim's Sport Shop. Darrin Siefkin, former naturalist, soon to be former extension director, has purchased the business and moving it to town. Camping gear, backpacking stuff, kayaks (is that spelled right?), that kind of thing...

What I want to know... when is there going to be a M.A.C. makeup store, or a TJMAXX in town? Those have got to be my fav. But, I'm betting it will never come here. :(

okay sorry, another day with nothing to say.

new book

oh yeah, I'm reading a new book. "Boundaries"by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I'll let you know how it is.

blah blah blah

I have nothing to say right now. It's that writers block thing again (see muse apnea blog entry from August 7).
But, I am so dedicated to this blog that I will write even when I have nothing to say.

Pretty uneventful day. I took abbie to practice at 6am, went to work at 7am, had a lunch appt that didn't show so I didn't take a lunch break, worked 'til 4:30, came home, cooked supper, ate, went to church, came home, blog. Of course, lots of things happened in each of those headings...

Let me try again to make it sound more exciting:

took abbie to practice at 6am - wore my pjs, no makeup, no hair, and slept most of the way there...thought about what would I do if I got pulled over or had car trouble made mental note not to do that again.

went to work at 7am - stopped at kwik star first and bought coffee cuz I didn't feel like making it at work, ... did a bunch of stuff at work --- like about 4 days worth of work, just maniac, maybe I should take the rest of the week off just because i did so much... had to update some employee files - some good, some bad. sometimes i think i could write a whole entire, very comical, blog about how really really insane it is to have employees. some of them come up with the craziest excuses for things they do/don't do at work. ( employee: "i'm late because i had so much fun playing with my kid this morning, i just couldn't leave" ... me: "that's very nice, i appreciate that you love your children. we can make arrangements for you to spend ALL of your time with her if you'd like")

had lunch appt that didn't show so didn't take a lunch break: and it was a prayer walk appt. (not work related). I guess I didn't know it was prayer AND fasting.

worked til 4:30 - afternoons are usually reserved for the "get my job done first" customers. They like to call in the afternoons. But, I had to do payroll today too. AND we had 3 people (friends or former customers) stop by for tours of the new office. it really is a cool place. you should come tour.

came home - wow. pretty uneventful. just drove straight here.

cooked supper - if you call it that. it was the wednesday-night-eat-and-rush-off-to-church version of a family meal. aka hotdogs and tatertots.

ate - again. pretty uneventful.

went to church - helped in the sound booth - had a bizillion tapes to copy so only heard bits and pieces of the service.

came home - realized no food was put away, threw away the hotdogs and tatertots, didn't do the dishes, or bother wiping the counter. nah... do it later.

blog - hm... i guess it really wasn't worth recapping was it. it didn't get much more exciting. i can't even embellish it decent.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

meetings

We went to meetings today in des moines.
oh my gosh, why are meetings so boring?
how long can you sit around and talk about current housing market trends and marketing strategies.... what the company does well and doesn't do well....... i woke shawn up twice. it was really boring though....

All in all, it was pretty lucrative. I drew some really cool doodles. At lunch, I told the group of men I ate with that the waiter had cute hair. I applied lip gloss a minimum of 5 times.

In the end, the new president and ceo of the company told me he wrote my name down to invite me to a marketing strategy meeting he is planning in a few months.... thought I'd be a great asset to the team... hm... I wonder if it was the berry lip gloss or the cute dog doodle.

Monday, September 12, 2005

stress

Linds has a stress fracture on her hip. most likely from cheerleading jumping.
She has been in pain for weeks, under chiro care, and we finally resorted to an x-ray when things aren't improving.
diagnosis: stress fracture... and a "funny looking" growth plate that needs another look by a more qualified professional.

It's always good to get an answer. But, now she's mad. Cuz... no cheerleading for two weeks minimum, no dance, no pe.

Heck, when I was a kid, I'd have died for an opportunity to miss pe.

So, she's happy mad. happy we have an answer. mad she doesn't get to do nothing. (double negative- hope no english teachers read this).

emotional girls

I love the mood ring song by reliant k -
I should know - mother of four - YES FOUR - girls.
3 of them are teenagers.
and then there's me - another girl.
and we have 2 cats - both girls.
poor shawn.

-------- mood rings ---------
We all know the girls that I am talking about.
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question is when...they'll blow up!
And they'll blow up, we know that without a doubt.
Cause they're those girls, yeah, you know those girls
That let their emotions get the best of them.
GO!!!And I've contrived some sort of a plan
To help my fellow man...Let's get
emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking,
Just what they're thinking...
She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way
Emotions swinging on the swingset almost everyday
She said to me that she's so happy it's depressing
And all I said was "Someone get that girl a mood ring!"
If it's drama you want, then look no further
They're like the Real World meets Boy Meets World meets Days of Our Lives.
And it just kills me how they get away with murder
They'll anger you then bat their eyes
Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize
GO!!!And I've contrived some sort of a plan
To help my fellow man...Let's get
emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking,
Just what they're thinking...
She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way
Emotions swinging on the swingset almost everyday
She said to me that she's so stressed out that it's soothing
And all I said was "Someone get that girl a mood ring!"
Cause when it's black means "watch your back"
because you'reprobably
The last person in the world right now she wants to see
And when it's blue it means you should call her up immediatly
and ask her out because she'll most likely agree
And when it's green it simply means that she is really stressed
And when it's clear it means she's completely emotionless
And that's alright I must confess
We all know the girls that I am talking about
She likes you Wednesday, but now it's Friday
And she has to wash her hair
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
Well, first she's Jekyll and then she's Hyde...at least she makes a lovely pair.
Mood Ring, oh Mood Ring, oh tell me will you bring the keyTo unlock this mystery?Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understandThe complex infrastucture known as the female mind.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Shawn is gone to PK this weekend. He'll be back late tonight though... not a long weekend.
Funny how wives act when the man is gone.

no cooking
I casually dropped by my mother-in-laws when she was making blts for supper --- oh, eat here? nah... we have stuff at home (lie)... oh, you insist? oh okay.. if you insist.

no cleaning
We banned the cleaning lady from the budget, but I didn't tell her. She came last night. I didn't say anything about the ban.... maybe he'll think I did it....

no fighting
the kids were so quiet. Lindsey was at an away fball game. Abb and Em played Bratz dolls (You know, Abb said she was just "being nice" to Em, she doesn't really like to do that kind of thing.. she's too old). They played until Abbie suddenly fell asleep on the bed.... Em was still going though.

no bedtime
I stayed up late messin with stuff... should have been packing to move! but I took the time to just dink around with my junk at my desk.

and then there is shopping. that's today.

Friday, September 09, 2005

homegrown vet

I should have been a vet.
Warning: don't read this if you have a weak stomach.

Our kitty had a spot on her leg she was really sensitive about. For a week she was ornery - is that really a word? - every time we would come close to it. We looked and looked and could not find a thing. So, last night lindsey finally found a spot. And when she looked at it closer, it exploded Osmosis Jones style with yellowy slimy pus. She freakd out and brought her to me. I dug in and examined her like any good vet would... applied a bit of pressure around the affected area where the abscess was located, and lo and behold, the vestication continued to deplete the secretion ---- for a long long time. It was gross. But, on the other hand,... kind of fun.
Shawn was a wimp and sat in the corner gagging the whole time while Lindsey and I performed our operation.

In the morning I took her to the vet to check it out. He looked at her and said "she can go home, she looks good". I said "Are you sure, cuz it was really infected last night". He was surprised it was that bad, after my lengthy detailed description. And he said "Well, you did the right thing, cuz it looks good now".

I told him it was fun, and we swapped stories about how far the fluid can shoot across the room - he has some pretty good stories.

Like I said, I should a been a vet.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

fellowships

I've been thinking alot about that book again. You know, the Eldridge one from a few days ago. God must really be trying to teach me some things about loyalties and friendships. Elder Keith taught Sunday morning. Funny he would teach on this very topic! I thought that he must have read my blog Saturday night then shared it with the congregation on Sunday morning. :) ..... no ego tied to that statement at all. ;)

I met with my mentor and friend this morning. I just don't think I could have ever found a better mentor or friend if I'd have done it myself (you know, I didn't do it... God did). I am so transparent with her. And when I leave our time together, I am encouraged to pray for her, for others, for myself, for the church, the body of Christ.

I know she will fight for my heart. That is a cool feeling. To know that you know that you know that someone out there will fight for your heart.

Anyway, I DID finally finish the book. YEAH YIPPEE SKIPPY! Now I can loan it to Heth. :)
The last chapter was really good. He talked about protecting your heart.

Quite a few years ago, I went to a seminar by Dr. Gary Rosberg. He talked about "Guarding Your Heart". But his approach was more on the lines of the fact that you have to be careful of what you allow in your heart... sort of the whole "be careful what you think because thoughts become words, be careful what your words are because words become actions, be careful of your actions because they become habits..." type of thing. But, Eldridge doesn't present it that way. He says God cherishes you, he desires for your heart to be preserved from the world. He says that you should protect your heart from becoming harsh. Take time to do the things you love to do, take time to enjoy God's creation, take time to appreciate your personality and hobbies. Life is so busy, the world today is so busy. The devil would love for us to remain busy and never find peace in life - never take time to enjoy the Lord in our own way. We should protect our hearts... it made me think... when was the last time I did something to protect my heart? How about you? Do you fight for your own heart?

Sunday, September 04, 2005

what the news doesn't report

“Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, NLT).

Watching the tv and listening to various news channels the last few days, I have been praying for the people in the south, who have had their lives torn apart by the hurricane.

Complaints continue to rise about the lack of help. We have heard of Salvation Army, FEMA, and various organizations assisting... here's a few more we haven't heard in the news. Christians rising to meet the needs and be the hands and feet of Christ. Click on the link to see how you can help with a contribution.

Operation Blessing Hurricane Katrina Relief Activities
As of September 2nd, the Hunger Strike Force has delivered a total of 23 truckloads of food, drinks and relief supplies totaling 920,969 pounds.Operation Blessing gave a cash grant to People That Care in Dallas to support a feeding program for evacuees located in the Reunion Center.700+ families have recived food/gas vouchers and/or clothing from Operation Blessing partner Somebody Cares Houston.490 people have been fed hot meals and/or given food and clothing at the Hosanna Church in Houston.5,000 disposable blankets and pillow cases have been ordered to be used with cots already at Somebody Cares Houston - will arrive Saturday morning.

The Southern Baptists Disaster Relief Update
Hurricane Katrina Response: “People are weeping, they want to help desperately. And we have a tremendous opportunity. We all don’t have to go to the affected area—we all can’t go to the coast. Many of the unfortunate people are being relocated throughout the country. We don’t have to go to them, they are coming to us. Everyone can give and everyone can collect. The diapers, the formula, the canned goods, the clothes, the bottled water—all of it can be collected and sent to the evacuation centers.” -- Gerald Peters, Southern Baptist disaster relief volunteer from Oklahoma

Christian Reformed World Relief Committee to raise $5M for Catastrophic Katrina. As the chaos caused by Hurricane Katrina continues to be tallied, CRWRC mounts an ambitious campaign to raise $5 million for her victims. Donations will help deploy rapid response teams to get needs quickly assessed, clean up debris, purchase building materials and repair homes, and provide funding for long-term reconstruction in those areas hardest hit.

World Vision
World Vision has already begun responding – sending shipments of emergency supplies, donated by generous corporations and distributed in partnership with local churches and Christian agencies to children and families in need. Because the supplies have been donated, your gift will multiply in value to ship and distribute urgently needed items to those who need them the most.

Campus Crusade for Christ
Campus Crusade for Christ already has resources to help provide immediate assistance to victims in affected areas. Right now we are mobilizing thousands of college students and other volunteers from all over the United States to provide urgently needed manpower to the relief efforts in areas hardest hit by Hurricane Katrina. These teams will be sharing the love of Christ as they stay in affected areas and work with local churches and other organizations to offer assistance wherever they are most needed - distributing humanitarian aid, helping with cleanup efforts, or building temporary shelters.

New Directions International
Grounded firmly in the Word of God, New Directions International is a global missions and relief organization that actively connects individuals and churches with the work of missions by linking strategic international leaders with the means to advance the Kingdom in developing countries. They have begun a fundraising campaign now to help those affected by Hurricane Katrina in the United States.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Naturally Eccentric

I am super excited about MAC COSMETICS new Naturally Eccentric fall collection.
It is completely ME. Anytime a cosmetic company comes out with warm tones, browns, neutrals, deep colors, dusky tones... they are speaking my language!

I think it might be time to go to the Mall of America.

Note: After publishing this entry, I found the Mac Backstage picks. Great Colors for Fall! I want to go! Too bad I'm on a budget now, cuz they have free shipping until Sept. 24. Maybe I could purchase my own Christmas present a little early.... ?? Hm...

Thursday, September 01, 2005

thoughts about fellowship

For the summer I am reading a book by John Eldridge entitled Waking the dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive.
It has taken me literally all stinking summer to read it. I am bound and determined to finish it before going on to another one! The first several chapters just took forever to get into. Not because he is a bad writer, of course. But, because I kept feeling like it was stuff I already knew. I wanted to learn something new and be enlightened by the book.
Would it really be the very last word of the very last sentence in the very last paragraph of the very last chapter of the very last section of the very last... ????
No... but almost. Chapter 11 of 12. And the funny thing: it's not anything new that inspired me.
This is the good part. You don't have to read the whole book. I'll share it with you. (Whoever you are-- okay, Shawn-- and maybe Nate and Heth-- my faithful bloggers).
He is writing about fellowships... companies... friendships. Their importance. Church as a community, an organism.
In this chapter, John writes (you know, we're on a first name basis since I have spent all summer with him) :
"When he left Rivendell, Frodo didn't head out with a thousand Elves. He had eight companions. Jesus didn't march around backed by hundreds of followers, either. He had twelve men - knuckleheads, every last one of them, but they were a band of brothers. This is the way of the kindgom of God. Though we are a part of a great company, we are meant to live in little platoons. It can be inspiring and encouraging to celebrate with a big ol' crowd of people, but who will fight for your heart? Who will fight for your heart? "

" ...Going to church with hundreds of other people to sit and hear a sermon doesn't ask much of you. It certainly will never expose you. That's why most folks prefer it. Because community will. It will reveal where you have yet to become holy, right at the very moment you are so keenly aware of how they have yet to be holy. It will bring you close, and you will be seen and you will be known, and therein lies the power and therein lies the danger. Aren't there those moments when all those little companies, in all those stories, hang by a thread? Galadriel says to Frodo, "Your quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true."

Eldrige says: "Most churches survive because everyone keeps a polite distance from the others. We keep our meetings short, our conversations superficial. No one is really being set free, but no one is really at odds with each other either. We have settled for safety in numbers -- a comfortable, anonymous distance. An army that keeps meeting for briefings, but never breaks into platoons and goes to war."

I have to say I have experienced some incredibly awesome times with my "fellowship". And by the same token, have been hurt very very bad. Living in an "organism", a "community", is like camping together. Eldrige says some philosopher described it like a pack of porcupines on a winter night. You come together because of the cold, and you are forced apart because of the spines.

The missing key in most fellowships is this: you have to know that the heart is good. It makes it easier to trust and forgive when you know the heart is good. Secondly, you have to know that you are really at war. And the enemy wants to destroy the fellowship.

A true community is something you have to fight for. We need each other. There are no other options.

Suddenly, all those one anothers in the Bible make sense. Love, Bear, Forgive, ..

It is so vital that we fight for each other's hearts... and the hearts that are still held captive.

This is the glory of a Heart fully alive.

I think I'm figuring this book out.