My devotions lately seem to be centered around a few things: God's sovereignty, humility, pride, my ability vs. His ability, trust, .... it's pretty tough stuff. Stuff I haven't even really wanted to talk about or share a whole lot. Just tough. Deep Deep Deep.
I had a conversation with our pastor last week. He asked what's going on in our lives. It was probably then that I realized how difficult it was to put anything into words. Next to impossible. How do you voice all that God is doing in mere words? How do you explain the unexplainable?
This morning, I was talking with Shawn about Genesis 11 - the Tower of Babel. Interesting story really when I think about it. God's people felt pretty empowered. The couple chapters before detailed God's covenant with Noah - the flood - the saving of Noah and his family - and the descendants of Noah who were rescued by God in a mighty way.
Then comes Genesis 11. The people, blessed so much by God, were empowered. They had seen success in their lives - in their time - felt quite unconquerable. They decided to make a name for themselves... they had it all. Why...they could build a tower and make a name for themselves... there was nothing they couldn't do!
Why is it that we humans always want to build towers? God blesses us with health, wealth, life, family, love, friends... and we want to turn it into an idol and take the credit for it? Rather than realizing it isn't ours to keep, we put it in our pocket and nurture it as if it's all there is. And when it all comes crashing down, when the Lord decides to do something different in our lives, we are confused and blaming and dumbfounded. As if we have some right to the gifts we were given at all. As if we have any rights.
It's all God's. All of it. I don't want to want anything. I want to know that my God is sovereign. And no matter what He has for me, I know it is for my good. Even the tough stuff. I don't want to be proud. I want to live a life of humility and realize that nothing nothing nothing I do is ever good. I want to know that I can NOT do anything. Nothing. I only want what God has for me, what He wants for me, and what He knows is best for me. He is enough for me. And I trust Him fully.